In Distress
by Aerith Queen of Cetra
Summary: .:KandaxAllen:. “Did... he just call you Soba Man? You're not secretly a superhero are you, Kanda?” Oh... Allen was going to have fun with this one...


_Title:_ In Distress

_Author:_ Aerith Queen of Cetra

_Chapters_: 1/1

_Summary_: .:KandaxAllen:. "Did... he just call you Soba Man? You're not secretly a superhero are you, Kanda?" Oh... Allen was going to have fun with this one...

_Genre: _Humour/Romance

_Beta'd:_ Nu-uh!

_Warnings_: Shonen ai, failed attempts at humour, violence, angry Kanda, several Soba references?

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own -Man xDD

**Author's Comments:** This is for Yullen week! YAY!!! The prompt for this one is; "_Soba_" and immediately our Krory came to mind! Soba Man to the rescue! xD

Note; The quote really has nothing to do with anything, I just like it! xDD

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**In Distress  
**

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_I'm sure millions of viewers...are wondering what it's like to wear the tights of justice. Well, it's tingly and it's uncomfortable._

- The Tick -

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"Leave me alone, moyashi."

Allen frowned and dropped his tray on the table in front of a very irritated Kanda.

"Come on, Kanda. I need a place to sit and every other table is full. Please...?"

Rolling his eyes at the pleading boy, he turned back to his meal silently and Allen took his seat directly before him, quietly tucking into his own food.

"So... I heard you just came back from Brazil. Any-"

"No talking."

Allen blinked and frowned, taking a bite out of his bread as he stared sullenly at the swordsman, thinking to himself, _'How the hell am I attracted to this guy again?'_

"Hey Allen! Yuu!" Allen gave a kind smile, relieved that Lavi, who took a seat beside him, had finally broken the tense silence.

"Don't call me Yuu." Kanda mumbled as he nibbled another strain of noodles.

"I see you're as cheerful as ever..." Pouting, Lavi turned back to Allen. "Hey Allen, Lenalee says that since we don't have any leads on any new Innocence, we can have tomorrow off."

"That's rare."

"Yep! How about heading into town? We can find something to do there."

"Sounds good. What about you, Kanda?"

"No."

"Aww, come on Yuu!"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "You're not allowed to call me by that name, you may only refer to me as-"

"Soba Man!"

Allen almost choked on his bread in laughter at that moment as Krory approached the table, resting his hands on both of the blue-haired one's shoulders with a huge, fanged grin.

"S-S-Soba Man? Did-Did he just call you Soba Man?" Allen spluttered out in the middle of a round of cackles.

"Shut up!"

"You're not secretly a superhero are you... 'Soba Man'?" Krory, in confusion, simply sat down beside Kanda, watching Allen and Lavi laugh their heads off at the thought.

"You don't secretly have a tights fetish, do you 'Soba Man'?" By this time, Lavi had rolled off of the bench in laughter. Which, in retrospect, was probably for the best.

Krory blinked innocently, tilting his head and turning to Kanda, "What are they talking abou-"

He stopped at the violent aura surrounding Kanda at the moment, dark, dangerous, deadly. Shaking at the black expression, he slunk away to safety.

Allen, being the only person left in Kanda's view, was in trouble and it was only when the distinctive sheening sound of a sword made itself known to his ears that he realised that Kanda had already drew Mugen.

He only had a second to dart out of the cafeteria before Kanda's blade slammed down through the bench the white haired exorcist was just sitting upon, slicing it clean in half, just missing Lavi's head by millimetres.

Diving out the door with surprising speed, Allen barely managed to escape another slash by the Innocence endowed sword. The wall, however, was not so lucky.

"Kanda! I'm sorry! It was a joke!" But it was futile; Kanda was too enraged to listen. Somewhere in Allen's mind, he realised that nothing he would say would get through to him and an evil little thought came into his head.

If he couldn't make things better…He would make them worse.

"Hey Soba Man, I thought you were supposed to protect good people! And here you're attacking me! Is that the wasabi way?" Allen yelled out, knowing that he simply couldn't _be_ in any more trouble than he was already in.

"You're_ not_ a good person! AND MY _NAME_ IS _NOT_ '_SOBA __MAN_'!!"

It was just like that that Allen found himself fending off Kanda's underworld insects with his ferocious left hand, now curled in the form of a metal claw.

"You know with great power comes great responsibility, I hardly think _that's_ responsible, Soba Man."

"You're _dead_, moyashi!" Kanda screeched his blade glowing fiercely as he swung it down upon the transformed arm. And he leaned in so that their faces were inches apart, practically ready to bite the evil little exorcist's face just to hurt him.

Allen grinned, biting his lip to keep himself from laughing at the thought of his next sentence. "Soba Man... There's something I have to tell you. I… am your _father_!"

"Quit screwing around, moyashi!" A vein popped on Kanda's forehead as he yelled and he pulled back his sword, swinging down even harder than before.

Wincing, Allen grinned and tried again, "You're right, I'm not your father. I'm your _lover_, Soba Man!"

"Wha-" Before Kanda could even protest, Allen had used his powerful arm and pulled down the glistening sword enough so that he could lean forward and press their lips together.

The blue haired swordsman's eyes widened fiercely, too shocked to even think of moving and his grip on Mugen relaxed enough for Allen to fling it away, transform his arm back to regular size and grip the sides of Kanda's face forcefully.

Kanda felt the two hands on his face and the force of Allen's lips against his own work powerfully and he felt insulted and undignified at the thought that he was being dominated, so much so that he angrily kissed back, practically devouring the white haired one's face.

Moving his hands upwards, he placed both of them over Allen's and forcefully pulled them down to his sides and the fact that, albeit inadvertently, they were holding hands was not lost on him.

Pulling back, the two stared at each other seriously, breathing lightly despite the heavy kiss.

Kanda was the first to close his mouth and regain his composure, "This did _not_ happen, moyashi."

"I understand..." Allen nodded seriously as Kanda stepped away, making a move to grab Mugen.

Just as he bent over, fingers tickling the hilt of his sword, Allen decided to speak again.

"I understand that a superhero can't allow himself to show emotions, lest his loved ones should get hurt."

Kanda's teeth gritted together and his fingers shook against the handle of his sword.

Allen turned around gleefully, "Don't worry Soba Man, I'll never tell anyone your secret! Now hurry on to the Soba Cave before the 'Soy Sauce Signal' breaks out!"

"You... are... DEAD, MOYASHI!!!"

As Kanda launched himself at him with newfound vigour, Allen considered whether or not his actions were worth it.

He licked his lips and grinned.

"Totally worth it."

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Ha ha, gotta love Krory! The first time he called Kanda 'Soba Man', I seriously couldn't stop laughing! I wonder what happened to Lavi during all this.... he's probably still unconscious under the table in the cafeteria! XD

Uh... hope you liked it and all the obscure quotes... I know Star Wars isn't really a superhero movie but... I couldn't help but put in that 'father' line! Just so I could use the 'lover' line, if anyone knows where that's from I'll love you forever! Ha ha! Er, please review? XD


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